Coral azaleas in bloom in November!
Hello? Have I grabbed your attention?
You know that intuitive gut feeling that it’s time to do something but, for whatever reason, you don’t? Yup, we’re talking about that. For me, though, I feel it more in my heart than my gut and this time, it took me a couple of years to get to this point! Change can be difficult, can’t it?
I’ve been resisting what my intuition has been telling me for a couple of years now and I give up. Today is the day. I’m surrendering to its guidance and no longer resisting.
You see, for the past 8-10 years (I honestly can’t remember how long it’s been!), I’ve belonged to a writers weekly chat room. I learned an awful lot from the moderator and a few of the people in the chat room early on but have stayed for the social aspect of the group as well as to help others with their journeys, both professionally and personally. It’s the coach in me. 🙂
What’s changed? I have! I feel like I’ve learned as much as I can (a sure sign for me to move on) from the regular members, have encouraged and coached as much as I can and, most importantly, I no longer like who I become when I’m there.
Publicly, I encourage, offer guidance and coaching (even after hours) but there are times when my petty and intolerant side comes out privately. I don’t like myself then. I’m a very tolerant person. I accept people’s belief systems if they differ from mine (it’s what makes life interesting!), I don’t expect people to know everything (I certainly don’t and will continue to learn throughout my lifetime), and I realize that everyone is on their own life journey, going through their own versions of Hell and growth (or stagnancy).
But recently, I find that I’m growing more and more impatient with a few of the members, intolerant of someone’s lack of attention and common courtesy, and I’ve become snarky publicly. Not a good sign. Yes, it’s a part of me, I admit it, like it’s a part of everyone but I don’t like feeling or *being* that way towards people in this chat room. It lowers my vibration and gets me nowhere but frustrated, with myself and the people involved.
Fear and Isolation
As a person who works from home, my social life is non-existent. Our son is in college and my husband’s work doesn’t give itself to socializing after work. This chat room has offered me a connection with, at the time, like-minded people and the thought of letting go of that connection has been fearful. However, this chat room is no longer bringing out the best in me and it’s starting to show publicly. And, that’s not good. Funny thing is, this pettiness and intolerance doesn’t come out any other time in my life!! So, if that’s not a sure sign it’s time to move on, I don’t know what is!
Why has it taken so long?
Interestingly enough, I have been following my intuition about this situation for a while now but not following it to its fullest direction. My intuition has been telling me it’s time to leave but I haven’t because I fear I won’t have another place to go to connect with people.
I have been looking for another group for more than two years now, to no avail. So, I’ve acknowledged and known it’s time to move on but I haven’t let go! The fear of isolating myself further has prevented me from doing so. I wanted to have a new place to go to before letting go of this chat room.
Today, I’m finally embracing my intuition’s entire message: that of letting go in order to move on without having a place to move on toward.
I admit, when the days come every week for me to sign in and participate, it will be difficult for me not to do so but I am putting my trust in the Universe that something new and better for me will become available.
By following my intuition’s push to let go of this chat room, this social connection, I am clearing the space for another connection, an even better one to present itself to me over the next few days, weeks or months. (I really hope it doesn’t take months, though!)
Sometimes you just have to take the risk, let go of the rope, and fall into the unknown. For me, today is the day to do so.
How about you? Have you ever resisted intuitive guidance only to follow it later, and what helped you make the decision to do so? I’d love to hear about it!
Special note: To those from the chat room that may read this, I thank you for so many years of questioning, wisdom, experience, fun and adventurous chats and I wish you all the best in your endeavors. I hope I helped you on your journeys in some small way.
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