Category Archives: coaching

Have You Been Resisting Your Intuitive Guidance? I Have! That Changes Today.

Coral azaleas in bloom in November!

Coral azaleas in bloom in November!

Hello? Have I grabbed your attention?

You know that intuitive gut feeling that it’s time to do something but, for whatever reason, you don’t? Yup, we’re talking about that. For me, though, I feel it more in my heart than my gut and this time, it took me a couple of years to get to this point! Change can be difficult, can’t it?

I’ve been resisting what my intuition has been telling me for a couple of years now and I give up. Today is the day. I’m surrendering to its guidance and no longer resisting.

You see, for the past 8-10 years (I honestly can’t remember how long it’s been!), I’ve belonged to a writers weekly chat room. I learned an awful lot from the moderator and a few of the people in the chat room early on but have stayed for the social aspect of the group as well as to help others with their journeys, both professionally and personally. It’s the coach in me. 🙂

What’s changed? I have! I feel like I’ve learned as much as I can (a sure sign for me to move on) from the regular members, have encouraged and coached as much as I can and, most importantly, I no longer like who I become when I’m there.

Publicly, I encourage, offer guidance and coaching (even after hours) but there are times when my petty and intolerant side comes out privately. I don’t like myself then. I’m a very tolerant person. I accept people’s belief systems if they differ from mine (it’s what makes life interesting!), I don’t expect people to know everything (I certainly don’t and will continue to learn throughout my lifetime), and I realize that everyone is on their own life journey, going through their own versions of Hell and growth (or stagnancy).

But recently, I find that I’m growing more and more impatient with a few of the members, intolerant of someone’s lack of attention and common courtesy, and I’ve become snarky publicly. Not a good sign. Yes, it’s a part of me, I admit it, like it’s a part of everyone but I don’t like feeling or *being* that way towards people in this chat room. It lowers my vibration and gets me nowhere but frustrated, with myself and the people involved.

Fear and Isolation

As a person who works from home, my social life is non-existent. Our son is in college and my husband’s work doesn’t give itself to socializing after work. This chat room has offered me a connection with, at the time, like-minded people and the thought of letting go of that connection has been fearful. However, this chat room is no longer bringing out the best in me and it’s starting to show publicly. And, that’s not good. Funny thing is, this pettiness and intolerance doesn’t come out any other time in my life!! So, if that’s not a sure sign it’s time to move on, I don’t know what is!

Why has it taken so long?

Interestingly enough, I have been following my intuition about this situation for a while now but not following it to its fullest direction. My intuition has been telling me it’s time to leave but I haven’t because I fear I won’t have another place to go to connect with people.

I have been looking for another group for more than two years now, to no avail. So, I’ve acknowledged and known it’s time to move on but I haven’t let go! The fear of isolating myself further has prevented me from doing so. I wanted to have a new place to go to before letting go of this chat room.

Today, I’m finally embracing my intuition’s entire message: that of letting go in order to move on without having a place to move on toward.

I admit, when the days come every week for me to sign in and participate, it will be difficult for me not to do so but I am putting my trust in the Universe that something new and better for me will become available.

By following my intuition’s push to let go of this chat room, this social connection, I am clearing the space for another connection, an even better one to present itself to me over the next few days, weeks or months. (I really hope it doesn’t take months, though!)

Sometimes you just have to take the risk, let go of the rope, and fall into the unknown. For me, today is the day to do so.

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How about you? Have you ever resisted intuitive guidance only to follow it later,  and what helped you make the decision to do so? I’d love to hear about it!

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Special note: To those from the chat room that may read this, I thank you for so many years of questioning, wisdom, experience, fun and adventurous chats and I wish you all the best in your endeavors. I hope I helped you on your journeys in some small way.

Copyright 2014 – All rights reserved.

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Valuable Life Lessons Of Support – Follow-up To Today’s Radio Show

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Important and Valuable Messages for Lori and All of Us

As I ended today’s episode of Messages From The Other Side, I felt the need to write further about the messages coming through for my caller, Lori, and within minutes, I made a connection with something that was brought up and we were a little confused by during the conversation.

NOTE: Since Lori called in to a public radio show I am extending her permission to this post & I hope she won’t mind me sharing the added insights here as I have no way to get in touch with her. I also feel that by sharing these added insights, messages and guidance, that they will help others.

The Puzzling Validation and Realization

Lori’s mother came through and brought up a puppy and it turns out that she had made Lori abandon a puppy when she was a child. We weren’t sure how to interpret that other than the validation that her mother was acknowledging a childhood event but I felt there was something more significant to it.

It dawned on me after the show, and what was it?

This is what came to me: “Even though we abandoned the puppy, we haven’t abandoned you.” It was impressed upon me by not only her mother but all of Lori’s loved ones on the Other Side: “You’re not like this puppy. You’re not abandoned.”

Wow. Lori, I hope you’re reading this. This message and insight clicked for me. That was the “something more” I felt but wasn’t seeing when I was spoke to you earlier. I hope it resonates with you as well.

Acknowledgement of Accomplishments

I also want Lori and any of you who have taken the courage to start anew someplace different (whether it’s a new town or a new job or a new relationship) to acknowledge the courage that it took to do so!! Even though things didn’t work out, it was valuable life experience!

First, it taught you you were strong enough to take the risk (of the move, the job, the relationship) and second, if it didn’t work out, it taught you what you don’t want in your life thereby teaching you what you DO want in your life/job/relationship. How cool is that?

One of the best ways I know to discover what you want in your life, and who you want in your life (personally and professionally), is to actually live and acquire life experience! Sometimes the life experience will be good, sometimes it’ll be bad but you always learn valuable lessons from both experiences!

A hawk flew into my yard during today’s conversation.

Valuable Life Lessons of Self-Support

Thought you’d like to live in a small town or work from home but you discovered it’s far too isolating for you and is even a bit unhealthy for you? That’s great! You NOW know you need to find work outside the home or make the effort to balance working from home with taking the time to network with other like-minded individuals and spend time with friends. You can create a balance.

If you can’t do so in that small town, then it’s okay to move to a larger town where there is probably a more diverse demographic, museums, theatres, festivals, activities, hiking or biking trails – where the town encourages you to be more active and more social. And you might find that works better for you so honor the lessons and the choice to move as a sign of self-support.

Remember, if you hadn’t taken the chance to experience the move or the change in job, you would never have learned what you really need and want in your life, what is acceptable and unacceptable to you, and how you can be healthier and happier.

Acknowledge your courage to take that risk and acknowledge the lessons learned from that experience. Those lessons are invaluable to creating the life you want.

How? You’ve found what doesn’t work for you and that leads you to making educated, and more supportive decisions, so you can live a life that you love with whom you love, so that’s a good thing!  😀

Additional Support Which You Might Not Recognize

For Lori: I don’t know if you rescued those two cats in the town where you now live, but if you did, can you see that, perhaps, one of the reasons you moved there was to do just that? To help these cats? Adopt them and add joy and compassion to your life and theirs? You are there to support each other. How beautiful is that?

And, if you rescued them before you made the move, could the reason you felt compelled to do so was because they knew (and you did too) that they could give you support realizing there was a possibility that the small town was going to be too isolating for you? That your intuition knew the cats would help you cope?

As I mentioned on today’s show, we get to choose what holds significance in our lives. No one else has to agree with that significance, it is our own to embrace.

It is a way for us to offer ourselves support when we don’t feel supported by anyone around us. It is a way for us to cope with life’s challenges, big or small.

Don’t devalue yourself or your efforts or your risk-taking. Within every step you take, every decision you make, there is a valuable lesson of self-support in it (or lack thereof). And you know what? Sometimes you have to make the “wrong” decision or a “bad” decision to know what is the right decision for YOU.

How many of us learn the easy way? Not many, huh? Most times, we have to experience challenging events, relationships, jobs, moves, trials in order for us to learn how to love ourselves, respect ourselves and support ourselves. When we can do that, we can truly change our lives for the better, be healthier, happier, and more loving to ourselves and the world around us.

Please don’t forget to send healing and positive wishes to Lori in Acme, Washington. Let her feel our support and encouragement to honoring her decision to move to a healthier and happier place with her two cats.  🙂 Thank you!

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So, tell me, how are you learning to support and respect yourself, your decisions, your health and well-being? What challenges either big or small have taught you valuable life lessons that helped you improve and support your life in the best way possible?

Copyright 2014 – All rights reserved.

You Teach What You Most Need To Learn

Saturday’s show was great. It was a wonderful reminder of: “You teach what you most need to learn at the moment.”

As you can hear in my conversations, I could relate to both of my callers. The more I connect with people’s loved ones on the Other Side, the more I feel the connection we all have with each other and how helping one of us can truly help us all.

As I tried to explain to my husband who often asks me how I hear, sense, feel, know things, (yes, I’m grilled in my own home about such things!), I am often guided to talk or share about experiences or perceptions in my life and while that may seem to listeners like I’m going off on a tangent, I’m not. Within a minute or so, you hear that it directly pertains to my caller or client and what they’re experiencing in their lives. They just haven’t mentioned it yet! I love it when that happens. 🙂

You see, the loved one(s) I connect with instantly puts in my mind what I need to share and I go with the flow. I’ve learned to trust the process, the conversation. It seems our loved ones really do know what we are grappling with in our lives and what we may be afraid to ask or admit. There is a great level of compassion for our struggles here in the physical world.

Spirit then offers advice or guidance for my caller’s or client’s highest good because I always set that intention prior to my radio show and prior to any reading. And I’ve come to learn that the advice or guidance which comes through can often be helpful to me. The times when it is so obvious, like during Saturday’s show, I make a mental note of the words of support and encouragement and know they were meant for me too. I thank my guides and the Divine for seeing the connection.

Life works in mysterious and wondrous ways, doesn’t it?

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Another interesting thing that can happen, on my side of the readings, is that when I make a connection, I can feel the love, the compassion, and yes, the sorrow from both parties. In this case, I obviously picked up on the first caller’s anxieties because after I hung up, that extra anxiety was gone.

I still have my own stuff to deal with but that extra tightness and stress I had felt a couple of hours before the show had dissipated. And the other nice thing? The love and support I sense and feel from my caller’s loved ones lingers, offering me that same sense of love and support that I could use. I thank Spirit for that as well.

And the messages received on Saturday were so beautiful!!! As I look at the roses my husband gave me and which I brought into the office for the support I felt I needed, the caller’s grandmother’s message to her to bring in fresh cut flowers into her home and make sure to keep them fresh:

“As you take care of them, it’ll encourage you to take care of yourself.”

How beautiful is that??

And the second caller’s loved one had another important message as he sought a guarantee of a possible future for him. The message referring to Sonia Choquette’s motto: “Trust Your Vibes.” Spirit knows how important her work is to me and how she helped me get through severe post-partum depression more than 20 years ago. Her writings, her life have inspired me and helped me ever since. So I gladly passed on not only that message and recommendation but this last one from the caller’s grandmother (or great-grandmother?):

“You’re in capable hands…and they’re your own.”

Wow. That was impactful for me as well.

So next time you hear yourself offering some advice or guidance, listen carefully to see if it relates to you as well. Then, follow it. 🙂

 

Copyright 2014 – All rights reserved.

Are You Holding Back From Enjoying Your Life?

If any of you have listened to my radio show, Messages From The Other Side, you always hear me encouraging my audience to write. I believe writing is extremely important: to vent, to ponder, to clarify your mind so you can release negative emotions and blocks, and open yourself up to revelations and possible solutions.

So, I took my advice last weekend and did some writing myself – I hesitate to say it’s automatic writing. It was more of a conversation between myself and those on the Other Side. My Higher Self, guides, guardians and angels. So, yes, messages from the Other Side. 😉 I got the sense of a group of loving beings or spirits, speaking collectively. It was pretty amazing.

One of my questions (ok, complaints) was: Why do I always have to be the one who initiates fun things with my family?

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Here’s the conversation (for the purposes of this post, Spirit is all-inclusive.):

Me: “Why do I always have to be the one who initiates fun things with my family? I’m tired of it. Sometimes I want to be asked to play, to join in, to go for a walk, play a board game.”

Spirit:  “Because you are you. By denying that, you are denying you and your loved ones of many happy times. All because your ego needs a boost.”

Me: “My ego? What? (I hadn’t realized that. Hmmm.) Well, as a result, I feel so alone.”

Spirit: “Yes, we realize that and that is a fallacy. You have to know that. All the anxieties, fears are because you are not living your life as your true self. You are the catalyst. You bring people together. That’s what you do. That’s why it’s usually YOU to bring up doing something, almost forcing them to participate in life together. It’s a good thing. Stop seeing it as a burden. It is one of your many gifts. In this same way, you’ll be very successful with groups, teaching, entertaining, yes, and learning too.”

Me: “Well, it’s irritating. I’m irritated with my husband and with my son about this – my skin (on my hands) has irritation on it. With life and my life too. I’m irritated with them for not being like me…[pause….revelation] ooooooooooo, interesting.” **cue the lightbulb moment music**

Spirit: “They have their own gifts and abilities, focus on those, enhance those, appreciate those, bring them out. That is YOUR gift and they know it and love you for it. They are sad that you are sad. They only want to help you but don’t know how.”

As I mentioned on last week’s episode, the fact that all this time, I’ve wanted them to be more like me, wanting them to initiate activities…like I did/do…when that’s not who they are! That’s my ego wanting them to prove that they love me enough to ask me to go for a walk, play a card or board game, or video game, watch a movie. Since they didn’t, no wonder I felt alone! Whoa. Major revelation.

I was shocked to realize my ego has held me back from not only acknowledging and appreciating my gift of motivating people, but also from acknowledging and appreciating my husband’s and son’s gifts and abilities – and from creating some fun memories! Ouch. That hurts.

By the way, even though they may groan initially about my suggestion, they always participate and thank me afterwards. “That was a good idea, hon.” “Yeah, that was fun, Mom.” 😀

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I have to say since I’ve had this revelation, my feelings of irritation have disappeared and my hands are healing. I feel much lighter. Cool, huh?

Where in your life are you letting your ego run the show? Where is your ego holding you back from living and loving your authentic self and your loved ones?

If you’re not sure, take a moment, tap into your intuition, Higher Self, any guides, guardians or angels you want (or all of them!), and ask. Then listen and let me know what you find out in the comments below.  🙂

 

Copyright 2014 – All rights reserved.

 

Common Misconception: All Psychics Are The Same And They All Know Everything.

 

Some of you are wondering why you can’t find yesterday’s episode of Messages From The Other Side on BlogTalkRadio. While there are important lessons to learn from the call, when I re-listened to it, the energy was so negative, I felt I needed to delete it, and after speaking with my husband about it, he agreed.

Also, there were no live listeners and it hadn’t been archived yet, so no one else had heard it. Why does this matter to me?

People listen to my show to learn, to have fun, to connect with their loved ones and receive validations and signs that their loved ones still exist, and learn how they can recognize the “hellos” they’re receiving directly. That’s what I focus on in my show and I want the energy to be positive, with love, offering a safe place to talk and learn about mediumship and the Other Side.

It was very clear the caller wasn’t open to any of this so I didn’t want my listeners to hear her assault on me based upon her own misconceptions, even though I attempted to explain how I work, how we’re all different, what I could and couldn’t do.

However, with that said, I would like to discuss some issues brought up during the call. There are valuable lessons to learn here.

Common Misperceptions And Misconceptions

At one point, the argument she used (after initially asking about her ex-boyfriend and their future together and I politely declined telling her I don’t do that; I don’t foresee the future or “read” people that way), was:

“If you’re psychic, you must know everything. You should be able to read my energy immediately.”

The caller, unfortunately, held this still very common misconception that all psychics know everything and they all work the same way. Period.

There is no room for diversity, there is no room for an individual’s strengths, education, life experiences, or evolution of abilities. There is no room for differentiation between a psychic and medium (one perceives or reads YOU while the other receives information from Spirit).

Now, some people can do both but how each psychic/intuitive/medium does this is different. We’re not all the same. We don’t all have the exact same abilities, we don’t all do both.

There are plenty of psychics who aren’t mediums. Would you demand they connect with your loved ones on the Other Side when they tell you that’s not what they do, that it’s not something they can do?

The misconception that psychics or intuitives know everything is simply that. A tired, old cliche made prominent because of the sensationalism in movies and novels. No, psychics and intuitives do NOT know everything.

It saddens me deeply that this still persists. Think about it for a second. Know EVERYTHING?? If we knew everything, we’d all be lottery winners, we wouldn’t have to worry about anything at any time. We wouldn’t go through times of unemployment, of relationship difficulties, of blocked traffic or car accidents, of loss and heartache, of trauma yet…we do!

Please let go of this misconception because until you do, it invariably leads to my next issue:

Being Uninformed Leads To Unrealistic Expectations

I am constantly telling people I don’t foresee the future yet people still insist that I have to be able to, because after all, I’m psychic, right?

I am constantly telling people I don’t/can’t read them, I don’t see auras, I don’t perceive their energy in that particular way and yet, people keep insisting I try. If I decline or refuse, they get angry and yesterday, this caller got really angry telling me I was misrepresenting myself with lies and that my explanations were a “cop-out”.

Look, I can’t do what I can’t do and it’s gotten to the point where I now state plainly on-air and in each episode’s description that: “I don’t foresee the future.” yet I still get callers hoping I will, somehow, be able to see their future with a relationship, with their career, with their life despite me saying I can’t.

If I can’t, they think their loved ones on the Other Side will tell me and honestly? It doesn’t work that way! Your future is up to you, not them. Every decision you make, every action you take (or don’t take), can and will change the path you’re on and your future will change due to that.

My answers and explanations were unacceptable to the caller yesterday. I wasn’t giving her the experience or the information she wanted to hear. She had no interest in learning about how I work (even though she asked), much less learn about the differences between psychics and mediums. No matter how I explained it to her, she wasn’t having it, which is a shame.

“How can I word it so you can give me the answer I want?” Almost a direct quote from her with a little paraphrasing. It doesn’t work that way.

If I say I can’t do something, I can’t do it. If I play the piano and you shove a guitar in my hands and demand me to play it  just because I’m a musician. Guess what? It ‘ain’t gonna’ happen no matter how hard I try!

I kept trying to refer the caller to others who might be able to help her, others who give psychic readings but she kept insisting I read her and became very confrontational and mean, demanding that I read her energy.

When I told her the only energy I felt from her was confrontational and that blocked any sort of connection with her, she felt that was a cop-out. No, that was the truth. She asked what I was picking up and that’s what I was picking up! I didn’t need any special abilities to sense her energy, it was pretty obvious. Totally blocked and negative and out to prove I was misrepresenting myself.

The caller refused to acknowledge that she had misinterpreted “mini-readings” because she didn’t do her research. Instead, she blasted me with accusations of misrepresentations and lies, coming down on BlogTalkRadio and “you people”….which leads me to this extremely valuable lesson:

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Do your due diligence. If you are seeking an answer about any issue, challenge or problem, make sure you are contacting the right person for the job.

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The caller interpreted what she read through her own filter of what she wanted, and because I was declining to ‘read’ her, she got very angry. If the caller had done her due diligence and listened to a few of my shows and read my BTR Profile and visited my website, she would have been fully aware of what I can and can’t do, and would have realized she needed to see a different kind of psychic: one who specializes in reading people. Not a medium.

Difference Between Psychic Readings and Mediumship Readings

People who give psychic readings tap into you and your energy. They perceive you and that can entail seeing and interpreting your aura, sensing your energy and a variety of other ways that I can’t go into because it’s not something I do. Just know, that within that field of expertise, everyone has their own specific abilities and tools to read you.

Mediums, however, use different psychic abilities to specifically receive communication from those who have passed on. We actually connect with Spirit. Yes, we need to connect with your energy to make it a stronger, clearer connection to your loved ones but we don’t ‘read’ you. We use the term “reading” for our session because that’s what the industry has generally labeled a session/meeting for a long, long, long time.

Important note about the coaching aspect of my work: I’m always very clear whether it’s a message or guidance from my intuition or guides (or the caller’s/client’s loved ones) or if the advice I’m giving is simply from my years of experience in management, personnel recruiting and/or job coaching.

I very clearly state this to whomever I’m speaking with, so this caller thinking I misrepresent myself in that light is false as well.

So, please, do your due diligence before contacting anyone in any industry to help you solve a problem. Don’t call a doctor if what you really need is a dentist.

Aftermath

I have to say: this caller’s assault on my abilities, on my Self, on my integrity is very upsetting. When I decided to go public a year ago, I knew there would be skeptics and I’m okay with skeptics. But when someone goes out of their way to blast you because you tell them you can’t give them what they want and you try to explain only to be told to do it anyway!…then proceed to be called a liar…well, it hurts!

I’ve had a good cry (or two), wrote all this out, slept on it, edited this post another few times and decided to publish it.

You always hear me recommending to write things out. Most of the time, what you write is simply for yourself: to vent, to release so you can move forward. Since I saw an opportunity to educate within this situation, I chose to share my experience.

My World

It’s so hard to explain what I do (and don’t do and why), and how I do it. It’s like asking someone who does complex mathematical equations in their head, “How do you do that?” or the pianist who can pick out a tune on the piano but can’t read music, “How do they know, how do they do that?” They can’t explain it, they just do it the way they are gifted to do those things.

I even have a hard time explaining this stuff to my husband, for pete’s sake! He’s always asking me, “Are you asking Spirit questions? How do you receive that information? Do you hear them? Do you see images?” I try to explain to the best of my abilities but sometimes all I can say is, “I don’t know how to describe it or exactly how it works. It just is. I just know it or feel it or sense it.”

Thank you for reading this and I hope it’s given you some insight to my field and industry. If you have more questions, please feel free to do further research, follow your interest(s): read books and blogs, listen to speakers, ask questions and be open to the answers. There’s a wealth of information out there; go for it! 🙂

Copyright 2014 – All rights reserved.