Tag Archives: negativity

Common Misconception: All Psychics Are The Same And They All Know Everything.

 

Some of you are wondering why you can’t find yesterday’s episode of Messages From The Other Side on BlogTalkRadio. While there are important lessons to learn from the call, when I re-listened to it, the energy was so negative, I felt I needed to delete it, and after speaking with my husband about it, he agreed.

Also, there were no live listeners and it hadn’t been archived yet, so no one else had heard it. Why does this matter to me?

People listen to my show to learn, to have fun, to connect with their loved ones and receive validations and signs that their loved ones still exist, and learn how they can recognize the “hellos” they’re receiving directly. That’s what I focus on in my show and I want the energy to be positive, with love, offering a safe place to talk and learn about mediumship and the Other Side.

It was very clear the caller wasn’t open to any of this so I didn’t want my listeners to hear her assault on me based upon her own misconceptions, even though I attempted to explain how I work, how we’re all different, what I could and couldn’t do.

However, with that said, I would like to discuss some issues brought up during the call. There are valuable lessons to learn here.

Common Misperceptions And Misconceptions

At one point, the argument she used (after initially asking about her ex-boyfriend and their future together and I politely declined telling her I don’t do that; I don’t foresee the future or “read” people that way), was:

“If you’re psychic, you must know everything. You should be able to read my energy immediately.”

The caller, unfortunately, held this still very common misconception that all psychics know everything and they all work the same way. Period.

There is no room for diversity, there is no room for an individual’s strengths, education, life experiences, or evolution of abilities. There is no room for differentiation between a psychic and medium (one perceives or reads YOU while the other receives information from Spirit).

Now, some people can do both but how each psychic/intuitive/medium does this is different. We’re not all the same. We don’t all have the exact same abilities, we don’t all do both.

There are plenty of psychics who aren’t mediums. Would you demand they connect with your loved ones on the Other Side when they tell you that’s not what they do, that it’s not something they can do?

The misconception that psychics or intuitives know everything is simply that. A tired, old cliche made prominent because of the sensationalism in movies and novels. No, psychics and intuitives do NOT know everything.

It saddens me deeply that this still persists. Think about it for a second. Know EVERYTHING?? If we knew everything, we’d all be lottery winners, we wouldn’t have to worry about anything at any time. We wouldn’t go through times of unemployment, of relationship difficulties, of blocked traffic or car accidents, of loss and heartache, of trauma yet…we do!

Please let go of this misconception because until you do, it invariably leads to my next issue:

Being Uninformed Leads To Unrealistic Expectations

I am constantly telling people I don’t foresee the future yet people still insist that I have to be able to, because after all, I’m psychic, right?

I am constantly telling people I don’t/can’t read them, I don’t see auras, I don’t perceive their energy in that particular way and yet, people keep insisting I try. If I decline or refuse, they get angry and yesterday, this caller got really angry telling me I was misrepresenting myself with lies and that my explanations were a “cop-out”.

Look, I can’t do what I can’t do and it’s gotten to the point where I now state plainly on-air and in each episode’s description that: “I don’t foresee the future.” yet I still get callers hoping I will, somehow, be able to see their future with a relationship, with their career, with their life despite me saying I can’t.

If I can’t, they think their loved ones on the Other Side will tell me and honestly? It doesn’t work that way! Your future is up to you, not them. Every decision you make, every action you take (or don’t take), can and will change the path you’re on and your future will change due to that.

My answers and explanations were unacceptable to the caller yesterday. I wasn’t giving her the experience or the information she wanted to hear. She had no interest in learning about how I work (even though she asked), much less learn about the differences between psychics and mediums. No matter how I explained it to her, she wasn’t having it, which is a shame.

“How can I word it so you can give me the answer I want?” Almost a direct quote from her with a little paraphrasing. It doesn’t work that way.

If I say I can’t do something, I can’t do it. If I play the piano and you shove a guitar in my hands and demand me to play it  just because I’m a musician. Guess what? It ‘ain’t gonna’ happen no matter how hard I try!

I kept trying to refer the caller to others who might be able to help her, others who give psychic readings but she kept insisting I read her and became very confrontational and mean, demanding that I read her energy.

When I told her the only energy I felt from her was confrontational and that blocked any sort of connection with her, she felt that was a cop-out. No, that was the truth. She asked what I was picking up and that’s what I was picking up! I didn’t need any special abilities to sense her energy, it was pretty obvious. Totally blocked and negative and out to prove I was misrepresenting myself.

The caller refused to acknowledge that she had misinterpreted “mini-readings” because she didn’t do her research. Instead, she blasted me with accusations of misrepresentations and lies, coming down on BlogTalkRadio and “you people”….which leads me to this extremely valuable lesson:

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Do your due diligence. If you are seeking an answer about any issue, challenge or problem, make sure you are contacting the right person for the job.

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The caller interpreted what she read through her own filter of what she wanted, and because I was declining to ‘read’ her, she got very angry. If the caller had done her due diligence and listened to a few of my shows and read my BTR Profile and visited my website, she would have been fully aware of what I can and can’t do, and would have realized she needed to see a different kind of psychic: one who specializes in reading people. Not a medium.

Difference Between Psychic Readings and Mediumship Readings

People who give psychic readings tap into you and your energy. They perceive you and that can entail seeing and interpreting your aura, sensing your energy and a variety of other ways that I can’t go into because it’s not something I do. Just know, that within that field of expertise, everyone has their own specific abilities and tools to read you.

Mediums, however, use different psychic abilities to specifically receive communication from those who have passed on. We actually connect with Spirit. Yes, we need to connect with your energy to make it a stronger, clearer connection to your loved ones but we don’t ‘read’ you. We use the term “reading” for our session because that’s what the industry has generally labeled a session/meeting for a long, long, long time.

Important note about the coaching aspect of my work: I’m always very clear whether it’s a message or guidance from my intuition or guides (or the caller’s/client’s loved ones) or if the advice I’m giving is simply from my years of experience in management, personnel recruiting and/or job coaching.

I very clearly state this to whomever I’m speaking with, so this caller thinking I misrepresent myself in that light is false as well.

So, please, do your due diligence before contacting anyone in any industry to help you solve a problem. Don’t call a doctor if what you really need is a dentist.

Aftermath

I have to say: this caller’s assault on my abilities, on my Self, on my integrity is very upsetting. When I decided to go public a year ago, I knew there would be skeptics and I’m okay with skeptics. But when someone goes out of their way to blast you because you tell them you can’t give them what they want and you try to explain only to be told to do it anyway!…then proceed to be called a liar…well, it hurts!

I’ve had a good cry (or two), wrote all this out, slept on it, edited this post another few times and decided to publish it.

You always hear me recommending to write things out. Most of the time, what you write is simply for yourself: to vent, to release so you can move forward. Since I saw an opportunity to educate within this situation, I chose to share my experience.

My World

It’s so hard to explain what I do (and don’t do and why), and how I do it. It’s like asking someone who does complex mathematical equations in their head, “How do you do that?” or the pianist who can pick out a tune on the piano but can’t read music, “How do they know, how do they do that?” They can’t explain it, they just do it the way they are gifted to do those things.

I even have a hard time explaining this stuff to my husband, for pete’s sake! He’s always asking me, “Are you asking Spirit questions? How do you receive that information? Do you hear them? Do you see images?” I try to explain to the best of my abilities but sometimes all I can say is, “I don’t know how to describe it or exactly how it works. It just is. I just know it or feel it or sense it.”

Thank you for reading this and I hope it’s given you some insight to my field and industry. If you have more questions, please feel free to do further research, follow your interest(s): read books and blogs, listen to speakers, ask questions and be open to the answers. There’s a wealth of information out there; go for it! 🙂

Copyright 2014 – All rights reserved.

What is The Purpose of Life?

As promised, I’m posting my thoughts and beliefs on this question for you.

(UPDATE: Due to a technical glitch this show did not go live or record on May 28th so I will be discussing this topic on my BlogTalkRadio show, Messages From the Other Side, this Saturday, June 1st, 2013. Please tune in!)

Two weeks ago, Tony from NY asked: What is the purpose of life? Why are we here? I could also hear his concern about all the negative things that you see and read about and what kind of purpose those have, if any. I know he’s not alone, I know most, if not all of us, have these same questions and concerns throughout our lifetime so I wanted to expand upon my answer. Tony, I hope you’re listening.

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I firmly believe we are here to experience everything life has to offer, both good and bad. We’re here to learn, to grow, to love, to help one another, and be happy. Oftentimes, though, the road to happiness is lined with challenges but that’s okay, that’s how we appreciate moments of happiness, and of joy.

To me, that’s THE purpose of why we’re here. I think we try to make it more complicated than it really is: what is my purpose? Like it’s a single solitary thing…well, in a way, it is. To experience life. Period. But…that encompasses everything!!

One of your purposes could be helping a neighbor plant a garden or babysit her children. Your purpose might be uplifting someone’s day in such a way that it saves them from making a poor decision, it could be as simple as an act of kindness like letting someone in front of you in a supermarket line. You don’t know how it’s going to impact their day or their life but you do it anyway. Think of the “bigger picture.”

I think it’s possible to look at our entire life as the purpose of why we’re here. We want to experience being sad, being happy, being in love, being heartbroken, being helpful, even feeling hatred, feeling forgiving and forgiven. We want to find our passions and yes, that’s plural, passions – you can have more than one passion in a lifetime, just like you can have more than one purpose, so to speak. Don’t limit yourself. However, like I said, within the main purpose of experiencing life, there are many, many purposes within that…to be a parent, to be a friend, to be a catalyst or motivator, to be an artist or a teacher, the list goes on and on!

And know, that with each experience, it offers an opportunity for everyone involved to grow. For example, if a group goes through a traumatic experience together, each one of those people will probably learn something different. One will learn never to trust again (or at least for a while and will then have to learn to trust again), one will learn to be more cautious, one will learn to listen to their intuition the next time it tells them not to do something or go somewhere, one will learn to continue to listen to their intuition because it saved them from experiencing the traumatic event.

One will learn to forgive, one will learn about hate, one will learn about love and not taking people they love for granted. One will learn to live life more richly and fully. One will come to their own truth about themselves, their relationships, their career and/or all of these things.

There is so much wisdom to be gained from a negative experience but it can take some time for the wisdom to be recognized. Healing needs to take place before we can recognize it sometimes. Give yourself that time to heal.

Pink and Yellow Lantana

Negative experiences also offer opportunities for others to rise to the occasion and help others. Remember 9/11 and, more recently, the bombings in Boston? Those tragic and shocking events brought out the best in people, didn’t they? People risked their own lives to rescue others from the wreckage, people opened their homes to strangers,

STRANGERS! In a world where we are constantly telling our children not to talk to strangers much less invite them into our homes-we did both!

We opened our homes and ourselves to help one another. We gave blankets, water, food, shelter, clothing, emotional support, financial support, we gave our compassion to everyone involved and by doing so, it brought us, as Americans, and in the case of 9/11, almost the entire world together.

As Americans, we had become distant and separate and divided and 9/11, I think, changed that. It united us, we came together to help each other, to do good in any way we could, even if it was simply sending our prayers out to everyone directly involved. What a beautiful thing that came out of a very negative experience.

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We, as humans, are capable of so much more than we can imagine (though our Spirit or Higher Self knows it), and sometimes we need a negative experience in this physical world to remind us of our strength, our compassion, our bravery, our wisdom, our appreciation for each other, our love for humanity…it doesn’t matter what package we’re in, what color we are, what nationality we are, we are all human beings having very human experiences. That simple fact bonds us together. It allows us to help each other when we see someone struggling with a similar situation or event. This is the value of a negative experience: to help ourSelves and others so we know we’re not alone, we know there’s help out there, we know someone cares. We all long for this connection and, experiences, both positive and negative, give us that connection.

So, know that what you’re going through now may end up helping someone else in years to come. I know you may not be able to see or feel that now but hang in there. The purpose of your experience will be realized as time passes.

Amongst the weeds and overgrown grass, beautiful little yellow flowers blossom.

Amongst the weeds and overgrown grass, beautiful little yellow flowers blossom.

Now, for the positive experiences. When we help someone, what do we feel? Happiness! Joy! Right? When you give someone a hug, doesn’t that feel good? It’s a moment of joy, of love, of connection. That’s what life is all about and sometimes we have to go through a negative experience to realize that yes, that really is what life is all about. Love. As humans, we all want to be acknowledged and appreciated and loved for who we are, flaws and all. Imperfections and all. No one is perfect and that’s okay! Life would be boring if everyone was exactly the same and “perfect”!

So remember, we all want to be loved and we are all hurt in some way. Each one of us goes through our own version of Hell and not one of those versions is any less important than another’s. There are lessons to be learned, our Selves and others to be appreciated and loved, joy to be had, if we can only get through the pain, anguish, and trauma of the events of life, we’ll see that. It may take months or even years to recognize the good that comes from a bad situation and that process in itself, is a journey worth having, worth experiencing, worth sharing. That process is our purpose.

When we’ve just had a negative experience, we never know how it will result in something positive for ourselves and/or for others but at some point, we know we’ll be able to reflect back and say, “Wow. That’s why I went through that. That’s why that happened!” Kinda’ neat, huh?

So…Our purpose is not an end product, it’s the process of life itself, the experience of life…the journey of life…the joy of life.

Our purpose is to live our lives. Our purpose is to love, to learn, to grow, to help one another, and find our passions and our joy through experiencing all of life, both positive and negative. It’s as simple as that and it’s as complex as that.

Cat sleeping

Life’s most simplest joys: finding the perfect chair for a nap. You can’t help but smile, can you? Focus on these moments.

And as far as the imbalance of negativity vs. positivity goes? The media gives us that illusion. I invite you, as I did Tony last week, to look for the positivity, the joy in life. Once you start looking for positive happy, joyful moments, you’ll start noticing them everywhere and if you can’t seem to find any…then create one! And that’s something as simple as going outside for a walk and finding joy in the trees, the sunshine, the animals. Something as simple as smiling to a stranger or your neighbor. Bask in those moments…focus on those moments…add to those moments. Focus on the good and you’ll find it. I’m sure of it. 😀

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Does any of this ring true to you? What do you feel is the purpose of life? Where do you find joy in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Copyright 2013 – All rights reserved.